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Partake Of Me by ~Astrid109PA:iconAstrid109PA:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Erotic > Fixed


I feel the liquid warmth on my lips
And the metallic taste on my tongue
As your blood flows from your wrist,
Feeding me, giving me unknown strength,
Limitless desire.
The intensity burning in your eyes
Feels like a smooth caress
As your gaze moves down my body.
I cut my flesh for you
And know that I am giving you
More than my vital nectar,
I am giving my soul.
The sweet pain wets my appetite
For the sins of the flesh.
Sweat and blood mix
As we join in passion,
Keeping perfect rhythm
With this sensuous dance.
Building towards sweet release,
Becoming overwhelmed by the strength of it.
Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
:iconastrid109pa:

Author's Comments

I'm not into blood-letting, but I was thinking about Queen of the Damned last night while I was laying in bed, and some how this popped im my head. Well, not this exact poem because I was to lazy to get up and write it down, this is what I could remember, with some extra stuff added in.

I'm not really happy with it, so some friendly critique would be nice.

Comments


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:iconabrainthatleaks:
~Abrainthatleaks Apr 29, 2008, 1:02:51 PM
I hate it when the real thing is gone myself :S Stuff often comes to me while I am driving home... and I drive a manual... LOL I have a notebook in my car and I've been known to write in it while taking curves :S I know how you feel though... I do like the passion in the poem... and it is very interesting to write from another person's point of view like this... I don't think this is bad so I'm wondering what is was like to begin with :S

--
Life is extrodinary in the mind...
Everywhere else you have to settle.
:iconastrid109pa:
~Astrid109PA Apr 29, 2008, 1:51:33 PM
It sounded much better before I fell asleep and forgot about it. I am going to put a notebook by my bed for future use. I know that the ending was much better last night, but it's gone now. Thank you for the comment, I appreciate it! Oh, and be careful going around those curves...
:glomp:

--
The defects and faults in the mind are like wounds in the body. After all imaginable care has been taken to heal them up, still there will be a scar left behind. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld
:iconlostangel51:
~Lostangel51 Apr 29, 2008, 4:42:58 PM
that's beautiful. in a dark sense...light.

--
"I am a superstar, with a bigbig house and a big big car, I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!" YEAH! TECHO DANCE!!!XD :dance:
:iconastrid109pa:
~Astrid109PA Apr 29, 2008, 4:48:09 PM
Thank you, and thanks for the fav! It didn't turn out quite how out was supposed to, but eh, it's ok.

--
The defects and faults in the mind are like wounds in the body. After all imaginable care has been taken to heal them up, still there will be a scar left behind. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld
:iconlostangel51:
~Lostangel51 Apr 29, 2008, 4:49:16 PM
lol. I love when that happens to me, it makes it better than i my original thought.

--
"I am a superstar, with a bigbig house and a big big car, I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!" YEAH! TECHO DANCE!!!XD :dance:
:iconastrid109pa:
~Astrid109PA Apr 29, 2008, 4:51:43 PM
Sometimes, but I could have sworn the original sounded better last night, if I had only gotten up to write it down then instead of waiting until morning, who knows how it would have gone.

--
The defects and faults in the mind are like wounds in the body. After all imaginable care has been taken to heal them up, still there will be a scar left behind. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld
:iconlostangel51:
~Lostangel51 Apr 29, 2008, 4:54:34 PM
sometimes it's like that for me, but different. In my dreams I hear music, and I'll wake up, sometimes late in the night, sometimes right before my alarm goes off. and I'll grab my pens and paper from the side of my bed, and I'll start writing and drawing what I saw and heard because it's always so beautiful. even when I have nightmares, the image stays in my mind, and ends up on paper.

--
"I am a superstar, with a bigbig house and a big big car, I am a superstar and I don't care who you are!" YEAH! TECHO DANCE!!!XD :dance:
:iconabrainthatleaks:
~Abrainthatleaks Apr 29, 2008, 10:42:34 PM
LOL My notebook is full now :S I find myself just wanting to go home lately... Job hasn't really been much fun :S

--
Life is extrodinary in the mind...
Everywhere else you have to settle.
:iconthatswrite:
~thatswrite Apr 30, 2008, 2:52:36 PM
It's pretty intense. I wasn't sure where it was going while I was reading it, so I would have loved to see the original. =( I have a notebook by my bed for moments like that, haha. But other than it not being as good as you expected, I enjoyed it. I find it interesting when people write about things they don't truly feel. I do that occassionally and it gives the writer's collection a nice edge. Well done.

--
I am he is you are he is you are me and we are all together.
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